Pathfinder

Why Am I Here?

* Sun in Aquarius

You are here to develop the ability to use collective power; by the fixed concentration of thoughts, to realize them; to change the quality of energies released in interpersonal and social interplay; to be used in the name of and for the sake of society; through your conception of the future; making man aware of new possibilities. You are here to shake up old institutions which have become rigid. You are a functioning agent of society; bringing the social activities of society to a cultural flowering; inventing for the benefit of society; studying humanity; evolving social and group togetherness; developing the Utopian dream, the future; cutting with the past and discarding bogus authority and outworn traditions, ushering in the new order. You are here in the interests of developing world service, not in the interests of developing yourself; although your may experience loneliness, being unable to personalize divine love. You are here to fight for liberty, justice and equality; your own freedom, that you may serve the needs of humanity.

* Sun in 6th House

Your purpose is best expressed through flexibility, adaptability, understanding, analysis, communication, intelligence and mental expression; material and objective goals; the earning of your daily bread; work, skills, precision, daily routines, mundane matters; health matters, care of the body; and attention to the messages that it gives you; discipline, discipleship and personal service; adjustment to necessity; self-purification, self-perfection, self-transformation and completion of your individuality; living your original nature in simplicity;

* Leo in 1st House

and through direct action, self-awareness, your appearance; the establishment of your personal identity;
* Sagittarius on 5th House Cusp

by radiating love, joy, creativity, vitality and power; expressing your will, self-motivation and spontaneity; experiencing personal fulfilment and happiness through expansiveness, enthusiasm, sociability, optimism, trust and faith in the future;
* Venus in 5th House

and through your receptivity, femininity, beauty and self-evaluation; your validation of life, love affairs and validation through love; your emotional need to be mirrored in love; self-projection into your creations, which can result in attachment and possessiveness;
* Sun in Aquarius

You have the ability to reflect your potential for humanitarian ideals, forward thinking and genius $SUN3
1 PSI 12 =

* Sun in Pisces

You have the ability to reflect your potential for mysticism and imagination
in your daily work and service
through expansiveness and optimism
in your home, family and inner life.

Where Do I Come From?

* Leo Ascendant

You came into this world with great expectation and elation. You were wanted, valued and accepted. Consequently you automatically expect love, admiration, to be the centre of attention, to be applauded, having been treated as rather special, although not necessarily spoiled. Being encouraged to develop your considerable talents and abilities, your were also subjected to a rather authoritarian regime, from one parent at least, and expected to conform to certain traditional and possibly religious family standards. There may have been competition between you and your father. There would have been material comfort and security, respectability and high standards in your childhood, but you may have felt isolated, slightly apart, due to your specialness, and the exploitation of your talents, feeling loved only for your performances, not for you as you are.
* IC in Scorpio

You come from a background of raw emotions, traumas and subterranean dangers, seething beneath the fabric of your family; hidden power, violence and frustration. You may have been influenced by death, suicide or raw sexuality in your early home life; by jealousy, greed and manipulation; the need for personal gratification.

Your ancestors were mysterious, powerful people, living dangerously and exposed to the hazards and perils of life. They may have had some connections with witchcraft or the occult. You have inherited courage and the ability to confront your emotions, however dangerous the death of your ego may feel to you.

Your father or dominant parent was powerful, possibly violent, dominated by what he failed to face, his shadow; a dark force in your life; sexually threatening; raging, impotent, frustrated, inadequate. You may have been influenced by his sexual relationship with your mother; his selfish need for gratification; or by his death.

You are a soul with hidden power, smouldering in the depths of your unconscious; an indestructible phoenix who rises again and again from the ashes of your emotional destruction, rebuilding, regenerating, your inner resources.

Your life will be based on intensity; courage; truth; emotional honesty; self-knowledge; unveiling pretences; taking up authority; facing fear, immortality; letting go of control; balancing feelings with actions; re-orientations, transformations, upheavals, crises; connecting to the earth, its mysteries, and the secrets of human nature; passion, sexuality, fusion with another.
* Moon in Sagittarius

Your father has given you the inspiration and ability to use your instinct for enthusiasm and exploration
in your home and inner life
by bringing independence and humanity
into your daily work, service and self-purification.
* Jupiter in Libra

He also taught you to consider challenges well; to weigh up situations and make fair judgements. He inspired your kindness, generosity, warmth and love; social interaction, relationship to others, awareness of their beliefs and realities and consideration of their needs; and encouraged a relaxed and pleasurable life style, with plenty of fun; but possibly also a blind optimism and refusal to face reality; a degree of laziness. However, he instilled in you a love of elegance, comfort and a refined life-style; the love of beauty for its own sake; and inspired you to find meaning and purpose in diplomacy and the creation of harmony. However, you may now portray yourself as more just and unbiased, less self-interested, than you really are.
* Saturn in Libra

However, deep down, you experienced your father as well-balanced, diplomatic, just. But you may have found him to be indecisive, weak-willed, non-confrontative; with a tendency to idealise or rationalise emotions; dependent upon his relationship with your mother for his identity and authority; and for love and intimacy. He has not given you a model for dealing adequately with anger, although he has given you some help in self-understanding and sorting your own problems. You may have felt restricted by the lack of relatedness between your parents; and threatened by your inability to live up to the perfectionism and idealism of your father. You therefore tend to feel inhibited, weak and inadequate, when it comes to standing on your own two feet; or asserting your individuality; and have learned to hate your gentleness and lack of confrontative ability. You feel sensitive and vulnerable when trying to express your love; powerful emotions and anger. Because he could not fully unite his own ideals and emotional energy, your father could not give you an adequate model for uniting your own creatively, However, he did give you the seeds of gentleness, peacefulness and equanimity to develop for yourself.
* Moon in 4th or Conjunct IC

Your home and family, roots and culture form the basis for your emotional life, inner processes, rhythms and fluctuations. You are emotionally tied to the past and its influences upon you, including ancestors and figures of authority. You need to search your deepest soul; to find inner light and love, for real security.
* Uranus in 4th or Conjunct IC

Deep within you is a genius with a deep-seated need to make changes who, through insecurity, can leave or destroy what is dear to you. Detached and eccentric attitudes in your upbringing have left you unsettled, moving house often, yet open to innovations and the development of exciting new ideas. Finding your inner roots and beingness, your universal family of like-minded people, will give you security.
* Neptune in 4th or Conjunct IC

You are an idealistic and compassionate soul, feeling psychically connected to all of humanity. The absence of your parents, either physically or emotionally, in childhood, has left you idealising, dreamy, unrealistic. Your security can be found by finding your rootedness in spirituality and marrying this with material reality.
* Chiron in Taurus

Your parents came either from a moral and critical background, which has been imposed upon you; morals which do not fit for you; or they came from a promiscuous and permissive generation who had few morals, leaving you to struggle with no given values and a possible invalidation of your own. Theirs was a crisis of morality, values and worth. Material wealth was valued in your upbringing to the detriment of spiritual values; or, it was shunned completely, frowned upon; leaving you feeling insecure and awkward, valueless and of no real consequence, with little to offer creatively. You were not quite sure what to do with your body, which had no proper place in either set of values. You have inherited the pain of their feelings of worthlessness; their struggle to find appropriate values that would relate them to nature and humanness, physical instincts and the senses; passion and beauty; the inability to express love through physicality, manifested as strict control of the body or an effort to transcend it completely.
* Moon in Sagittarius
Your mother, or nurturing parent, was flighty, expansive, unorthodox, unreliable, lenient, independent, adventurous, like a gypsy; but intelligent, wise, well-read or travelled; she inspired you to seek knowledge and experience, expand your understanding, broaden your perspective. She was a friend to you, but easy-going, lacking discipline, rather irresponsible, with little self-control or boundaries. You had rather loose family ties, from which you distanced yourself anyway, for the sake of freedom and self-sufficiency. Your family may have come from a country, culture or religion different from that in which you grew up; with a very different outlook to yours.
* MC in Taurus

You may have experienced her as gracious, stylish, sensuous, practical; opinionated, materialistic, determined, possessive; valuing tangible reality; possibly selfish or acquisitive; but beautiful and loving. She encouraged you to strive for sensual comforts, material possessions; to build stable foundations and orthodox values, possibly influencing you through her own sense of poverty, worthlessness or lack of inner resources. You may have felt the need to compete with her attractiveness.
* Moon in Sagittarius

Emotionally, instinctively and innately you are quick, active, independent and idealistic - enthusiastic, eager and optimistic - but escapist, scattered, rebellious and unsettled - restless, romantic and adventuring - often unrealistic, overextending or overestimating yourself and your capabilities, not always able to finish things, promising more than you can offer, thinking big; unreliable, disappointing others, making promises you cannot keep; but candid, sincere and outspoken - religious, honourable, philosophical, eloquent and prophetic - kindly, witty and good-humoured - affectionate, fun-loving, sociable and humanitarian. You have many acquaintances, many superficial interactions, but few very intimate relationships.

You yearn for space, freedom, movement and an understanding of life, which you seek by constantly expanding your horizons; loving to travel, expose yourself to foreign cultures, learning, further education. You also yearn for God. You like to be engaged in meaningful activities; stimulating the minds of others; teaching; and are nourished by universal understanding and relationship. You are fond of activity and people. You hate to be tied down, making commitments, inactivity, being alone; but will evaluate your experiences conceptually in order to formulate your life-philosophy;
* Moon in 4th House

and find emotional comfort, safety and security in your home and family, domesticity; the past and your original family. Your father may have been the original carer and nurturer. You are influenced by atmospheres and seek peace, calm and safety in your environment, being somewhat fearful of the world, insecure, retreating easily, gathering your own around you. If your home life is happy, then you will find that your outer life is happy; but you may suffer from early coddling and protectiveness. Although love was not lacking, worldly models may have been and you may not have been encouraged to venture far from your home and family; the ties being somewhat incestuous and restricting; also guilt-producing. Now your own resentment can hold you back.
* South Node in Aquarius

In the past you have increased your capacity for vision, inventiveness, innovation, detachment, humanitarianism, involvement with collective ideals and goals; creating new institutions for the future of society; developing awareness through your interactions with groups of people; revolutionary ideas; solid beliefs and altruistic life principles, which incorporated fairness, equality and possibility for the growth of humanity. Functioning collectively, you have leaned on other people, sometimes dissipating your energy through achievement orientation or over-diversification; taking advice from others, but rarely following it. You have explored your own freedom, independence and originality
through
daily, routine work, skills, attention to detail; care of your body; devotion and self-purification; through transformative illnesses; often caused by dissatisfaction in your work; having felt victimised, used or unappreciated in some way; bitter and resentful; having created martyrdom and self-pity; yet often having overworked anyway in an attempt to control the chaos that you have always seemed to find around you; and your confused feelings about sexuality, being torn between permissiveness and prudery; or exhausted yourself through nit-picking and over-attention to detail. You are familiar with this area of life and revert to it instinctively.

Where Am I Going?

* MC in Taurus

Your destiny is to transform the conception and accumulation of social wealth into the conception and accumulation of personal wealth; social desires into personal possessions. You will find your own wealth, worth, value and resources through the work that you do.

You will find fulfilment through accumulating and preserving personal resources and wealth; generating and producing bounty; bringing stability and love; romance; material security; sensuous and physical matters; being seen as worthy; public recognition of your beauty, vitality, healing, strength, loyalty and dependability.

Your career will be based on the provision of beauty, comfort and appearances; inner and outer peace; caring; building and stabilising; producing, using and doing good with wealth; owning; providing the material goods, values and resources for physical and spiritual growth; personal ritual; hard work; stability, predictability, reliability; sensual pleasures and indulgences; involvement with the arts and music.

You will approach your goals slowly, quietly, deliberately, methodically, with care, calmness, caution, practicality, simplicity; tenacity, stubbornness, determination; persistence, possessiveness, rationalisation, productivity; flair and compassion.

Your talents will be best used through staying with one career; sometimes glamour, entertainment, fashion, films; food; touch, massage, care of the body; using your voice, speaking, singing; art; form, sculpture, pottery, woodwork, clothing.

You have the potential and staying power for steady and fixed pursuits; stable business, medical or government activities of a well-established, old-fashioned nature, where you can use skill and tact through legitimate means. You should not change your work frequently.

You will strive to symbolise substance; good taste, serenity, beauty, harmony, unanimity love; bounty, abundance, fertility, fecundity; down-to-earth practicality; femininity;
* MC in Taurus

and will develop your vocation in accumulating and sharing personal wealth and resources, beauty and comfort, through your validation of
responsibility, maturity, work and materialisation,
in your self-expression, personal creations, children, re-creative activities; speculation, love affairs and playful activities which enable you to feel more of who you are; where others can see and enjoy your talents; your enthusiasm, attractiveness, ego-expression and use of emotional energy;
* Moon in Sagittarius

You will approach your career with intensity, independence, a sense of adventure and exploration, intuition, and a need for freedom; liking communicating, teaching, sharing your understanding on a collective level. You like work which is professional, honourable, dramatic, communicative; and which allows you to be flexible, adaptable and to travel. Having the gift of the gab, you would make a good salesperson, entertainer, even gambler. You would also do well in sport, usually having a strong and athletic body. If you believe in the product you sell, you will be enthusiastic. You are attracted to journalism, foreign cultures, law, government, politics; but any work you do must be meaningful.
* Capricorn in 6th House

And will find vocational expression through work and service, daily routine and health
matters.
* Mercury in 7th House

You will gain perception and find intellectual stimulation, mental expression and communication through the exploration of relationships and the experience of partnerships; relating yourself to significant others; meeting interesting people; understanding their thought processes and feelings; the working through of differences; the sharing of perceptions and information; social and intellectual intercourse; integrating yourself through social interaction and relating.
* Libra on 3rd House Cusp

Approaching experience, enquiry and education, the sharing of information with an intelligent and tactful mind, but often using strategies; a fair and balanced mind; always weighing up opposites and finding it difficult to make decisions; yet seeing grace and beauty in many things.
* Capricorn on 6th House Cusp

Your approach to daily work and routine is responsible, disciplined and hardworking. You use initiative and have executive qualities, being able to direct others in a practical and sensible way. However, you may tend to take too much on and feel put upon at times. You are able to function with authority, but may feel that you lack ability and underestimate the importance of your contribution. You are ambitious and can stick to what you start through a sense of professionalism and integrity. You do not like to let others down. With colleagues you may be aloof, even timid or shy and possibly find it hard to feel a part of a team, even when you are functioning in one.
* Sun in 6th House

You also approach work and routines with enthusiasm and feel well and happy, vital and alive when you are engaged in meaningful tasks, or mastering and perfecting skills. Amongst colleagues you work creatively and with fairness, magnanimity and leadership qualities and brighten up any work situation.
* Mars in 6th House

You also approach work and routines with energy and enthusiasm. You are a hard worker, can be workaholic and expect others to work hard too. However, you may be aggressive and wilful, expecting others to work at your speed. You may also channel sexual or emotional energy into this area of life. With co-workers you have the ability to assert yourself and also have leadership qualities. Overwork can cause you to suffer physically.
* IC in Scorpio

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You will express your inner longing for personal truth, transformation and power, by idealistically expressing
peace, harmony, relatedness and diplomacy,
in the exploration, formulation and development of your own ideas, thoughts and experiences; the acquisition of knowledge and understanding; learning from, exchange with, teaching and communicating what you know in your immediate environment; interactions with relatives, neighbours and friends; speaking and being heard in your own locality; the freeing of your mind from your body in abstract thought concepts; and its integration back again through physical and material life;
* Cancer in 12th House & Moon in 4th or Conjunct IC

and soul's need for feeling, sensitivity and security through work with the unconscious, personally and collectively; transformation through the dissolution of boundaries; understanding infinity, oneness, divinity; self-sacrifice and spiritual enlightenment; healing, sensitivity, feelings; dreams, visions, imagery; meditation; retreating and inner work; overcoming personal limitations; work within an establishment or institution; or in confinement, isolation or seclusion;
* Aquarius in 7th House & Uranus in 4th or Conjunct IC

and soul's need for independence, innovation and freedom of thought through intellectual communication and action; partnerships, joint, social, collaborative, co-operative and communal activities; awareness of the significance of others; serving others; creating social identity and beingness; projection of your image into relationships and having it reflected back at you; dealings with apparent enemies; what you learn from those experiences and the results of your actions;
* Pisces in 8th House & Neptune in 4th or Conjunct IC

and soul's need for self-sacrifice, spirituality and compassion through deeper level relationships; primal emotions; mergers and group rituals; the use of other people's money and joint resources; sexual union; traumas, crises and changes; your relationship with death; the group and personal shadow; how you recycle psychic debris; and your sensitivity to psychological material;
* Cancer in 12th House

and will find emotional expression by working with the unconscious, personally and collectively; dreams, visions, meditation, painting, artwork; retreating and inner work; overcoming personal limitations, possibly working within an institution.
* North Node in Leo

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Having focused on collective ideals in the past, the support of friends, you need to stand alone, developing goals of self-awareness, personal expression, creativity, individuality, personal love, will, vitality, satisfaction, ego, optimism, nobility and magnanimity; to rely upon your own strength, rather than that of the collective; identifying with your own core, your loving nature; taking pride in your uniqueness and individuality; facing loneliness at times, without close friends, in order to realise and develop your many gifts and talents; and to stand by your own creations, rather than contributing to collective creativity; focusing your energy on present projects, in a disciplined and determined way, rather than planning endlessly for the future. You will build your own confidence, develop strong leadership qualities and inventively contribute much to humanity when you begin to surrender the will that you have developed, in generosity, through
self-sacrifice, self-transcendence, hidden resources, essence, uncertainty and trust; working with images, dreams, and the collective unconscious; inner reflection; in seclusion, retreat, isolation, or confinement within an establishment or institution; often finding the physical world very tiring, chaotic, confusing; not always living up to your idealism and critical perfectionism. You need to use your organising abilities to empower yourself, bringing through what you know intuitively in practical ways; healing yourself and others in the mundane world, rather than trying to keep yourself aloof as a spiritually perfected being. You will find the essence of everything that you need within you when you cease to complain about not having it given to you. You need to come to terms with restrictions and to learn to live with imperfections and discrimination; when you surrendering your victim consciousness and taking responsibility for creating your own life; letting go of your preoccupation with physical matter and transforming your mind through purity and the essence of divinity, which you have the ability to know well.

How Do I Get There?

* Leo Ascendant

You deal with changes, crises and new beginnings with dignity, presence, graciousness, self-confidence, vitality; slow, measured capability, reliability, organising and leadership qualities, but tending towards grandiosity, dramatising your actions, expecting recognition and applause, often making much of very little.

Your path is to create a personal ego; to develop personal creativity, identity, individuality, magnanimity, power and authority; the power of your own Self, the enlightened personality; becoming the most of what you can personally be; recreating yourself in what you produce, children, relationships, works; functioning effectively; becoming a person in your own right; unique, proud to be who you are; giving of your true self with love, with generosity and warmth - unconditionally. You inspire others with your positive, sunny, optimistic and commanding attitude, generating enthusiasm; and confront challenges in order to succeed, not to win; taking control and command of all that is yours, self-control of your vital energy, in order to function effectually, with modesty and humility, not in order to compete or gain mastery over others, but in order to earn self-esteem from the experience of your own actions.

You need to focus your life through your life-giving energy; your spiritual self-sufficiency, your ability to heal through love, life and vitality; your inner radiance; the power of your personal will; generosity, sincerity, loyalty and expansiveness, stemming from your inner resource and ego strength, your moral decency; the divinity of your own creative force, which makes you a shining example for others; to take responsibility for what you produce, knowing it as the power of God within you, seeking expression through you, and through all that you possess and express. Only giving of this freely, unconditionally, will give you the inner recognition, the recognition of your own Self, and its expression, by yourself, which you need, in order to feel fulfilled; and the reflection of that in your creations; the feeling of well-being that results from full creative functioning; the pride that you feel in your self-propagation.
* ASC in Leo

Your path of personal identity will evolve through the radiation of
innovation, altruism and individuality,
in your daily, physical work, practical routines, mundane activities, service to others;
adjustment to necessity; discipline and discipleship; practise of meaningful skills;
taking care of your health; listening to the messages you receive from your body;
self-purification, self-perfection, self-transformation and completion of your
individuality; living your original nature in simplicity;
* Mars in Aquarius

separating and differentiating yourself; forming individuality and an independent identity; self-definition and self-centredness; direction, drive, momentum, focus and one-pointedness; confidence, will and courage; projecting your Self outwards; developing assertiveness, self-sufficiency and models of effective action; potency; attaining short-term, material and worldly goals; with enduring, open-minded thought and revolutionary mental activity; through innovation, altruism and philanthropy; with caution, intellect and enterprise; progressive ideas and unconventionality; a passion for intellectual challenges, new ways of thinking, freedom and the future of humanity; channelling your desires into inventiveness and individuality; your sudden insights and rash decisions into social creativity; political causes, social changes, fights for the rights of humanity, freedom of speech and avante guarde ideas; advances and modernism in art, literature, science or technology; needing to temper your tyrannical fanaticism and stubborn opinions with compassion for the human state. You express your ego-centredness through arguments and debates; inciting others to action; needing to exchange your passionate beliefs for a dose of the other fellow's point of view; your eccentricity and rebellion against tradition and authority for maturity and inner authority; and your abrasive, self-righteous outspokenness for a little tact and diplomacy; as you can be cold, cutting and alienating in your quest for change;
* Mars in 6th House

channelling your energy and enthusiasm; dealing with conflicts; accepting challenges and confrontations; with vitality and youthful optimism; through organisation, efficiency, industry and activity in daily work routines; mundane and mechanical matters; vitality and health of the body; patience with employees and co-workers and their methods of operating;
* Aries on 9th House Cusp

asserting your individuality and initiating action through the expansion of your horizons, mind and understanding of life, the search for meaning and purpose, your relationship to the universe; the building of a religious or spiritual philosophy; your psychological maturity;
* Venus in 5th House

attaining inner and outer wealth; accumulating personal resources; expressing yourself artistically; attracting and expressing love, through your personal attractiveness and self-expression; personal creations; beautiful children and the pleasure that they give you; the wealth that they bring to you; hobbies, artistic or musical abilities; re-creative activities; the ability to attract love affairs and romantic encounters; to share fun and sensuality with lovers; and playful activities which enable you to feel more of who you are;
* Virgo on 2nd House Cusp

building material stability and security, using your personal resources through work and service; skilful means and practicality;
* Taurus on 10th House Cusp

bringing pleasure and beauty; ritualising; stabilising; giving form and value to your public or professional standing and status, your social position and image, what you achieve and contribute to the community, vocation and responsibility.
* Saturn in Libra

In time, with caution, commitment and discipline; restraint and hard work; by throwing off parental expectations and social conditioning; and by taking responsibility for your own path, you can realistically channel your inner authority into your ambitious ability to balance your will through justice; bringing peace, harmony and equanimity into the world; possibly art or music; fairness, equality and truth; diplomacy; consideration for others' feelings; developing your artistic and aesthetic talents.

By accepting separateness, aloneness, and differentiation, which initially means exposing your vulnerability, you can build self-confidence, by developing sound and intuitive judgement; seriousness and loyalty in relationship and partnership; co-operation and collaboration; greater intimacy and intellectual understanding; commitment; allowing ambition to outweigh your fear; slowly; ultimately serving society through the mastery of your own life and the lessons which you have learned in it.
* Saturn in 2nd House

You can enjoy the satisfaction of this learning process and the rewards and experience that you gain from it; the insight into and understanding of your meaning and purpose, when you have found it; the truth about yourself as opposed to what you were led to believe; and then the living of it by building new boundaries as you grow through the experience, burdens and responsibilities of the accumulation and use of wealth and resources; the establishment of physical and material stability; and the establishment of your own values; the validation and use of your own, inner, resources; the establishment of a security based on those inner resources.
* Jupiter in 2nd House

You can break negative ties with the past, developing optimism and broader vision, planning for a brighter future; expanding out of repression and fear, beyond the bounds of your family; into a wider universe; gaining understanding of life's purpose and meaning, of your social relatedness and your place in the plan of things; and faith and trust in life's supportiveness; developing your own philosophy and intellectual expression, by exploring and taking up challenges in your approach to finances and material stability. Somehow you get your needs met, even though you spend carelessly and do not respect your possessions, because your attitude to money is optimistic and trusting. You will take risks financially and usually cope, often with the help of friends to support you when you are broke; nor do you lack generosity and will give away your last penny to help a friend. You like to gamble and often win, but are unable to hold on to these winnings. Your urge is to get beyond material needs and not have to deal with them; to find an easy solution to these problems;
* Aries on 9th House Cusp

expanding your consciousness and understanding through self-assertion and a sense of your individual identity; through courage and personal authority.

Who Are My Helpers?

* Aquarius Descendant/Leo Ascendant

You will be influenced by people who are independent, altruistic, innovative, unusual and generally concerned with the future of humanity. People with an individual outlook; self-reliant; who do not mind playing second-fiddle to your varied interests; sharing attention equally with your many friends and acquaintances; forming relationships that are about more than the personal gratification of the participants; with people who are free-minded, open, out of the ordinary, friendly.

Those who teach you most will treat you in a caring, compassionate, but detached way; teaching you self-sufficiency; giving you the space and freedom to develop your own identity through having to fend for yourself; enabling you to understand that there is more to life than your individual personality; allowing you to function as part of a larger system; sharing common goals with others, without oppression; friendship and loyalty.

You will form relationships with people who encourage you to stand on your own feet; developing individuality; they will not let you be the centre of their world; or allow you to live through them. They will be fascinating, capable and successful in their own right, causing you to curb the competitiveness in your nature. You will have to share them with other people, as they will have a varied amount of interests; and be highly intellectual. They will balance your passion and enthusiasm, with cool, quiet, patience and enduring tenacity, helping you to use insight and clear thinking in marrying your vision of personal identity with the need to create a social identity, within which you can function with co-operation and community, balancing your rampant egoism; allowing you to support and be supported by others; merging your personal authority and leadership qualities into joint ventures that allow the expression of many identities.
* Mercury in 7th House or Conjunct Descendant

Also clever, articulate, educated, people; quick-witted, keen, alert, with whom you learn
about relatedness; through your mutual exploration, mental and physical; interesting,
intelligent, curious, inquisitive, people who like to formulate their own ideas about
things; exchanging them with you and teaching you to make your own mind up; define
yourself accurately; question and understand your motivations; working through problems
with you; willing to sort things out; talk them through. Friendly, playful, youthful
people, with active minds, who never grow old, or lose their sense of humour. You like
variety in your associations; and need people to listen to you; also practical, skilful,
organised people.
* Mars in 7th House or Conjunct Descendant

Also people who are bold, challenging, pioneering, adventurous, daring;
independent, outspoken, straightforward, direct; lively, energetic, hard-working,
confronting people who will not act for you, but with you; ready to defend you, but
leaving you to learn responsibility; taking their own; sexually active, dynamic and
stimulating, not letting you rest on your laurels; or live your life through them.
* Aquarius Descendant/Leo Ascendant

Your enemies and inner tyrants will be eccentric, erratic, egocentric, subjective, self-centred, selfish; needing and demanding to be the centre of attention; full of their own importance; dramatic, affected, showy, making extravagant gestures; rebellious, revolutionary, impatient, cold, cutting, detached, non-committal, unfeeling; stubborn, pushy, bossy, autocratic, authoritarian; proud, aloof, snobbish, arrogant, vane; particular about surface appearances; about being humanitarian; yet having a cruel streak to their nature; and a tendency to use people to further their own aims.
* Mercury in 7th House or Conjunct Descendant

And also narrow-minded, argumentative, provincial people, who do not think, at least, not for themselves; make their own minds up; copying other people's ideas; collecting information, details, opinions, and swallowing it wholesale, never digesting anything; gossiping; slow, stupid people; unable to make their own decisions; indefinite, non-committal, not explaining themselves; ambivalent, tricky, slippery and impossible to pin down; always finding excuses for not feeling, not getting involved; finding fault, picking; living in their heads; objective, irrational and therefore impossible.
* Mars in 7th House or Conjunct Descendant

And also angry, frustrated, bossy, demanding people who seek marriage, partnership, relationship in order to avoid taking responsibility; as proof of their worthiness; hoping that the other person will complete them; fulfil their inadequacy; but not compete with them; wanting things their own way. Competitive, impotent, powerless people who use aggression to get their own way, when their models for action fail them; bullies; egocentrics; playing games; involved in power struggles; manipulating; and rubbing people up the wrong way.
* Aquarius Descendant

In relationship with others you will be attracted to unusual people. You will need space and freedom; being able to leave suddenly, if necessary, in order to follow a cause or new opportunity, or make a change of direction; as these things matter to you more than any individual person. However, you will be honest, faithful, a good friend and companion; inventive, adventurous, experimental, open to new ideas and concepts; humanitarian, kindly, intuitive, intelligent, good in conversation; persevering, possibly dominant, enduring; but not suffering fools gladly. You are multi-faceted and extremely varied in your interests; being open to all races and creeds of people.

Through relationships you will be able to create freedom and equality; liberation from prejudices of convention and tradition; and the restrictions of your youth; independence; progression; marrying the need for the creative expression of the self with the creative needs of humanity as a whole; the collective will be more important than the individuals; but space will need to be made for individuality and its need for expression, within the collective, partnership, or other co-operative collaboration. Your relationships will be unconventional, where the differentness, uniqueness of the partners must be balanced with the uniqueness and individuality of the relationship entity; marrying personal ego desires with altruistic motives and the need for perfectionism; creating ideal man/woman; balancing individual goals with goals for humanity; equality with natural inequality. Your relationships must serve the greater need of humanity; evolution. They must have purpose, outside of personal gratification; merging with a higher ideal; connected with other groups, societies, like-minded social, scientific or spiritual institutions. You and your partners must have something to do together which will further the brother/sisterhood of man/and woman; the collective whole; causing changes in the established order; through discoveries, visions, reforms and innovations. You will often experience long separations or frequent changes, feelings of coldness, isolation and estrangement, until these prerequisites are recognised and accepted.
* Mercury in 7th House or Conjunct Descendant

Your relationships will help you to find and express your ability to gather and distribute information; sharing what you know; exploring with another; operating within the local environment; expanding your thinking process; conversation; sharing analysis; communication; mental agility and alacrity; skilfulness; serving through doing; dealings with mundane matters; finding mental stimulation as exciting and enlightening as sexual stimulation; focusing your ideas; and formulating personal concepts.
* Mars in 7th House or Conjunct Descendant

Your relationships will help you to find and express your identity, potency and power; to know yourself as a separate person, working industriously and energetically alongside another; making clear boundaries; being clear about your needs and desires; allowing space for your partner's; giving each other personal freedom; developing courage and assertiveness; getting what you want out of life.
* DESC in Aquarius

Your relationships of social identity will evolve through your unorthodox attitudes to
truth, transformation and regeneration; depth and intensity,
in your emotional beingness, feelings and sensitivity; the exploration of your imagination and inner, personal life; your past and links with ancestors; your home and base of operations; your own soul, race, roots and family; the development of an identity which is separate from, but not necessarily different to, theirs; finding your inner light and shining with it;
* Gemini in 11th House & Mercury in 7th or Conjunct DESC

and your sharing of personal concepts through enquiry, investigation and communication, in your social aims, achievements and ambitions; involvement with collective ideals, goals and visions; intellectual understanding and interaction with groups, friends and organisations; social, political and humanitarian causes; alternatives, innovations and reforms; using your vocation and standing in society to contribute to the future evolution of humanity;
* Virgo in 2nd House & Mercury in 7th or Conjunct DESC

and your sharing of personal service through precision, detail and devotion, in your own values and sense of stability, self-worth and self-esteem; the accumulation and positive use of money, resources, talents and possessions; material and objective goals; body awareness and building of physical foundations;
* Aries in 9th House & Mars in 7th or Conjunct DESC

and your sharing of an individual identity through initiation, action and assertiveness, in writing, travelling, higher education and exploration; foreign cultures, philosophies, expanding consciousness, awareness, intuition and understanding; sociability and relationship with the entire universe; developing spiritual and religious meaning and purpose to life; your personal image of God;
* Venus in Capricorn
You value and feel open and receptive to people who are serious, responsible, mature, conscientious, hard-working, traditional, conservative, realistic, practical and sensible; loyal, reliable, trustworthy, dutiful, steadfast and patient; sometimes mercenary; holding onto conventional values; somewhat narrow-minded; rather cold, cautious, reserved, constrained, aloof, hard to get to know; not trusting easily; lacking self-esteem and faith in their own abilities; but hiding great affection, spiritual aspiration and steadfastness; ambitious, desirous of public recognition, public spirited and willing to make a contribution to civilisation. Their image of femininity is cool, calculating, wise and mature; often career-orientated, professional, impeccable; capable, refined, sensible, earthy and sensual; but dignified, proper, and secretly passionate. They have no time for fools or frivolity; needing helpmates, useful people with whom to relate; people who will help them fulfil their ambitions in hard-working partnerships. They will work long and hard at relationships; sometimes taking all of the responsibility; persevering; even when the relationship is difficult or even impossible, stagnating; pushing against their own blocks and fears of failure; which they expect; yet wanting to succeed at all costs, to make a good and enduring relationship; which makes practical sense; with clear boundaries and definition of purpose; stability, security, permanence, constancy, predictability; taking great care of their loved ones; wanting financial stability, status, recognition from a partnership. They tend to be unromantic, replacing passion with pragmatism; although a deep earthy sexuality exists beneath their fear of rejection. Often they marry older people.

You are attracted to these people because they have the makings of your perfect mate; matching your ideals of love; and its purest form of expression, for you; people with whom you would desire a workable love relationship; an earthly partnership; because they reflect your bounty, beauty and resourcefulness; the feminine in you; your personal brand of attractiveness. People with whom you can share your giftedness.
* Venus in 5th House

These relationships will develop and mature through the growth of your personal attractiveness, self-expression and creativity, children, personal creations, hobbies, re-creative activities, love affairs and playful activities which enable you to feel more of who you are.
* Libra on 3rd House Cusp

You will develop a sense of balance and harmony; love and unity; evaluation and relatedness; sharing, in your relationship with and integration into your close environment; and the intelligence and understanding that you gain from your interactions there; what you teach to others.
* Moon in Sagittarius

Your soul's mate will be enthusiastic, optimistic and adventurous; a seeker and a searcher; a free spirit. They will be humorous, sociable, entertaining and tremendous fun. But they may have difficulty in making commitment and may flirt. Being curious they tend to wander and can be promiscuous. But they will be honest, outspoken, spiritual and often prophetic and philosophical. However, you may find them unrealistic, over-ambitious, scattered and unreliable; difficult to pin down. They mean well but often overextend themselves or promise more than they can deliver. However, when they do, they bring the sunshine with them.
* Mars in Aquarius

You are sexually attracted to and stimulated by exciting, open-minded, intellectually stimulating people with new ideas; frequent changes; surprises; friendship, shared views and causes; a few debates and arguments to clear the air in your relationships.

You like to express your sexuality in exploratory, experimental, innovative ways; gaining excitement and stimulation from unconventional, and shocking, attitudes; anything new or untried; getting bored easily; liking variety and diversity; but disliking changing partners; preferring to be kept interested and entertained in one relationship.

Your image of masculinity is unique, intelligent, professorial, breaking new boundaries; free-thinking, egalitarian, revolutionary; forthright, progressive, independent; unusual, eccentric, politically active; different, unconventional, surprising, unpredictable; political, scientific or involved in the paranormal.

What Will Heal Me?

* Sun in Aquarius

Because you care for all humanity, you tend to find it more difficult to be caring in one-to-one relationships and can be experienced as cold, detached, aloof and selfish. You seem to want quite a lot of attention for yourself, because your energy tends to be electric, brilliant; but often sharp and cutting. Sudden, inspired behaviour, your quality of genius, makes you appear to be erratic, which is difficult for others to understand. You live a lot in the world of ideas and are inclined to forget that you, and others, have feelings. You are usually extremely altruistic, but also need to develop compassion and warmth; learning to love with your heart, as well as your head. Your inclination towards rebellion, revolutionism, shocking, attention seeking, can stem from an extended adolescence. You may need a more mature attitude and less impatience in attaining your ends.

Because your mind moves at great speed, you often feel different from others, out on a limb; but can also use this differentness as a defence against your feelings of isolation and rejection, to keep yourself aloof and superior; or to draw attention to yourself as a compensation for feelings of lack of love and acceptance. You want people to like you, accept you; and often rationalise, reasonableise, your feelings in order to live up to humanitarian ideals; leaving no room for your own humanness and needs; disguising your own ego-centredness and selfishness, which becomes hypocrisy. You need to be less rigid in your expectations of yourself and stop pretending that you don't bleed and weep, make messes and goof up, like other people. If you cannot practise what you believe in, then you need to find out what is stopping you. Sometimes your rationality can be irrational, unbending, intolerant. Perfecting your own technique would serve you better than trying to perfect the world that we live in. For you, charity needs to start at home, with your own attitude to yourself.

Your aspirations and ideals are high; your goals are personal and collective; your intentions are humanitarian; but you need courage, heart, deep feelings to strengthen your purpose, rather than the mental conceptions that shut others out. Without your own needs met, anything you try to do for others will be a patronising sham. You will not be genuine; only escaping from your own unhappiness in trying to do good for others; becoming the worst, rather than the best, kind of person. You need to learn to deal with your own feelings, or you will become intolerant of the feelings of others; to learn that all men and women are not equal in all senses and cannot, therefore, be expected to slot into idealistic moulds that may not fit them. Nor can you expect this of yourself. You need to learn to pace your aspirations according to your emotional development, maturing and capabilities. Otherwise your ideal of fairness becomes unfair; you discriminate against those whom you see as discriminators, which defeats your own object in the end. You can hurt others deeply in the way that you have been hurt; through the rejection of their truth and ideals; through the rejection, the dismissal out of hand, of that which has the deepest meaning for them, even though it does not for you; in this, through the denial of their feelings; and therefore their existence which is dependent upon them. Eventually, you will receive the gift of freedom, which is yours by right.
* Moon in Sagittarius

Because your freedom is so important to you, you find commitment difficult. This tends to make you superficial in your relationships and unable to gain the intimacy of shared experience, learning and understanding that you crave. For you, learning on your own is not satisfactory. Often your need for freedom from commitment and burden is an escape from your inner emotional burden. It is an escape from the pain of inadequacy and inability in your desire to transcend all boundaries and expand your consciousness to infinity. The limitations which you feel are often inner ones. Your own inability to reach as far as you want to, because of fear and insecurity. You are adventuresome and fiery, but you still need containment, stability, foundation. You need a nest to come back to and a base to take off from. Without first exploring inwards, seeking self-understanding, you will always be restricted in your outward search. You need to understand and come to terms with your material and instinctual needs, which you would prefer not to deal with, as they get in your way and restrict you.

If you tie yourself to a relationship, you will also tie yourself to your needs and you would prefer not to do this. So, in the name of experience, exploration and knowing, you tend to hedge your bets, play the field, trying to expand your own personal potential through variety and change. This, however, deprives you of the experience of mutual growth in relationship and prevents you from becoming securely rooted emotionally because, in order to function this way, you have to develop a detached attitude to emotional involvement, your relationships becoming physical, intellectual and spiritual, but never deeply emotional, which, you feel, would slow you down and hold you back. Being ambitious, you tend to use people to climb social ladders, name-dropping in the process. This can make you opportunist. Being the slave to this kind of behaviour means that you have no real freedom. Only when you can make choices, take responsibility and accept limitations, will you have true freedom, inner and outer. Only then will you live your ideals and aspirations in the present, relinquishing futuristic optimism and gullibility, developing objectivity. Only through emotional maturity can you ground your ideas in reality. Until then, they are like childish whims, ever changing. You will only ever need to assert freedom when you do not feel it within as a self-renewing state of mind.
* Moon in 4th House

There is a danger that you may use your home as a defensive retreat from the outer world, rather than as a base of operations, from which you can meet the world. Because your early life was harmonious, specially that with your father, you may wish to remain immature, or hide behind a partner, ignoring your own role in the world. Links with the past and ancestors are necessary links with the present and future for you and should not be used to cling to, which will prevent your progress and evolution. You should also be careful about clinging to your natal family and parents for security. You would do better to enjoy their support for the new life that you need to build.

You may also use your present family and children as an excuse not to follow another vocation, which will eventually lead you to bitterness, resentment and frustration, when they try to break away from you. You need to examine your feelings about your own family, their clinging to you and their contribution to your own feelings of impotence and inadequacy. When you cease to blame, you will cease to be held back, even though you may have to venture outside of what feels safe and secure for you. But you will have taken responsibility for carrying that safety inside you, embodied in the love that they gave you and which is now your own love that you take with you; fulfilling your own soul, rather than using your family to fulfil you.
* Leo Ascendant/Aquarius Descendant

Needing to feel important, to have a sense of being 'somebody', you require rewards, applause, attention and thanks for what you give of yourself; and are attracted to tinsel, glamour, melodramatic and theatrical, superficial and hysterical situations, which give you no real importance at all, being dependent upon outside influences; not being fuelled by your inner resources. You like beautiful surroundings, good clothes and a high standard of living; but can use these in excess to aggrandise your own being; creating a facade to cover ego weakness; a sense of not being; a need for recognition and maximum exposure. You need to be seen. You also need to be esteemed by others and often use life as if it were a stage on which you perform your own personal dramas. You are prone to over-enthusiasm, erring on the side of over-stimulation of the self, ego-delusion, leading to emptiness and the void eventually, when your bubble of fantasy bursts and letdown ensues; the fall from the horse of pride.

You like to keep at hand those at whom you can sneer and look down upon; treating them regally, as your 'subjects'; creating a pseudo sense of power; creating an illusion of magnanimity and generosity; instead of developing those which are innate in your nature. In the same way you can use your generosity and magnanimity to control those less fortunate; also creating competition and power-struggles with others of false, but weak, ego-structure. Others, considered more important, you seek to please, trying to be what you think they want you to be, rather than what you want to be for yourself; in this you can give a perfect performance, seeing yourself as the brightener of lives; but expect, in return, great admiration and ego-inflating rewards; also fame, fortune and renown. When all else fails, you use your 'specialness' to place yourself apart from, better than, and above, those with whom you can no longer contest, becoming cold, lonely and precariously dizzy on your pedestal.

You need to learn to be an individual in your own right; to assert your uniqueness and accept your sameness; to express your personal creativity and many talents; reach for your own goals; find your niche in society; where you can be of benefit to humanity; sharing your gifts freely for the pleasure of others; broadening your world vision to include more than your own identity; but reducing the grandiosity of your plans; to include a human identity; the brotherhood/sisterhood of man/woman.

You have much to learn from your enemies; by studying their behaviour; owning what you dislike in them as your own distorted potentialities; as well as recognising, honouring and accepting what you find in those you admire, as undeveloped gifts of your own.
* Venus in Capricorn

Your power comes from pursuing your desire for mature and respectable
emotional expression, creativity and spontaneity
through the progressiveness and altruism of
your daily work and routines.
* Chiron in Taurus

You have the potential to preserve what is of value in society; to make good use of accumulated resources; and to function well with scanty finances. Your gift is to give value and form to what already exists; specially beauty, the body, sexuality and the earth. This comes as a result of your own healing; of learning to value yourself; your own body, its gifts and abilities; grace, beauty, earthy practicality. Unless there are other influences in your chart, you will be the holder and protector, rather than the creator, of bounty, wealth, material resources, as well as comfort and pleasure; teaching their use and value to others; helping the needy; teaching others to value themselves and express their beauty and inner values; upholding the rights of everyone to the necessities of life; a fair distribution of resources.

Your deepest wound is the loss of self worth; the area of inner and outer values; finding out for yourself what is right for you, what is wrong and what is lasting and endures through time and changes; what your worth is in realistic terms and what is solid, safe and stable for/in you. For you this is a life or death issue; acquiring what you need to survive, spiritually and materially. Without the sense of substance that comes from your own morality and self-valuing, without a personal value system, you cease to be. You cannot operate in the world honestly or realistically. You become a sham and lack substantiality. You need to separate your own values from those with which you were brought up; which were either too materialistic or too spiritual, ungrounded, a denial of the necessity for financial stability. You may have trouble understanding money; and the naturalness of your sensuality and sexuality and will have to overcome either strongly repressive moral attitudes or overindulgence and permissiveness in valuing yourself sexually; your inner beauty and need for sensuousness and pleasure; your connection with your body, the earth and humanity. The earthy or pagan spiritual disciplines can be helpful to you.

Your healing comes through the pain of clinging to outworn values which stifle you; the fear of letting go and facing your emptiness; then developing your own resources; the pain of rejection; facing the rage that you felt towards confining and controlling parental values; mourning the loss of your own; finding and standing up for your own beliefs and values; illogical logic; facing material insecurity and trusting your inner worth and spiritual values; the power of love; trusting your body and its impulses by facing the pain of its demands upon you; and your fear of nature dominating you; accepting its lack of beauty; but coming to terms with personal need, without feeling guilty; trusting your inner resources and personal magnetism, regardless of your outer appearance. By releasing old burdens of judgements upon you; by befriending materialism, money and your body; you can enlighten your life and therefore the lives of others; feeling freer to enjoy; bringing enjoyment to others; by sharing your resources liberally and graciously, without fear or insecurity; taking part in creativity, rather than holding it tightly; using wealth, rather than identifying with it personally.
* Chiron in 9th House

You experience initiation through this pain which teaches and ultimately heals you in the area of your life where you seek meaning and understanding; purpose; connection with your higher self and your wiseness; where you try to bring through your innate and spiritual wisdom into your daily life; searching endlessly and restlessly for universal truth and your own connection with it; your connection with the collective and your place in the plan of creation; for freedom, a personal philosophy and a god who matches it. Your searching may take the form of escapism, leading you to travel and explore many religions, but preventing you from grounding your experience in the material world; leaving you feeling painfully hopeless and despairing. You need to live the divine in the here and now, rather than searching for it outside of yourself; hoping for it in the future.

When you have healed the crisis of meaning in your own life, the pain of your search for the divine in everything, you can teach others, sharing your understanding and philosophy of universal truths. You need to ground your spiritual knowledge in pragmatic reality for it to work for you; embodying your spiritual philosophy and living it; practising what you love to teach to others; materialising your visions and aspirations; making a commitment to what you believe in. Otherwise your life is unbalanced. You suffer from divine discontent; become addicted to gurus. You need to embody your soul, marrying spirit with matter, philosophy with practical action. Otherwise you become scattered and your life lacks meaning and purpose and your searching and questioning leads to emptiness. Religion is important to you, but you can be confused by the religious beliefs with which you were brought up, finding that they do not fit for you; that they conflict with your own feelings.
* Chiron in Taurus

You are striving to bring value and resources
to the search for purpose and meaning.
* Saturn in Libra

You gain greater consciousness and fulfilment; wholeness and completeness; and the ability to integrate all of your qualities through the way that you use the pain, anguish, limitations and restrictions of relationship or the lack of it; the desire to be loved and accepted socially.

You will exchange self-love for the self-hatred which you once learned; as the self-achievement that you have worked hard for materialises and withstands the trials and tests of time; the achievement which, as your inner integrity, is more solid and enduring than any false integrity which you have had to make do with in the past as a compromise. This love emerges from the gradual freeing of your will to relate.

Because you look to relationships to give you authority and social standing, you may be socially ambitious, which results in shallowness in relationships. You will have to work at partnerships and relationships. They will not come easily to you because, although you long to express your love, you have an intellectualised ideal of how love should be, which is not always realistic and is, often, a defence against your fear of intimacy and the disappointment which loving has brought you; the belief that you are not loveable or acceptable. You seek the perfect partner who will make you whole, but you need to be whole in yourself first. You need to relate your thoughts to your feelings; your heart to your intellect. You trend to use strategy, forgetting that the other person has feelings which may not comply with your plan of how they should be. When you learn to love yourself, your grace, beauty and inner harmony, you will be able to make an outer marriage which is a reflection of your inner unity. You also need to let go of some of your rigid ideas and opinions; to allow the other person to be what they, rather than what you, would like them to be. Otherwise you will find your relationships burdensome and your partners critical and judgmental. You will find them shallow, closed, unable to love you. You also need to channel your talents into artistic outlets, even though you may lack confidence in your abilities. You have diplomatic and peace-making abilities and can make a good listener, if your heart is open and you do not lead with your head. Learning not to intellectualise your feelings away enables you to better understand the feelings of others. Otherwise you tend to ignore them through your over-rational approach. Through self-discipline you can build a bridge between individual identity and social identity in relationship.
* Saturn in 2nd House

The defensive boundaries that you have built to protect yourself from your fear of disintegration grow too tight and rigid. Periodical crises, throughout your lifetime, will cause you to feel that you will die from the inertia and stagnation in your life; you will become frustrated and angry, attracting experiences that teach you to let go; to reform your boundaries; to contain your emotions and realise your ideals in a different, less repressive way; which leads to greater wisdom, maturity and self-confidence; a sense of rootedness and stability; better foundations than your original ones. But you are forced to make decisions and choices, to assert your will and take up your authority in your self-evaluation and use of resources.

In your childhood there was a feeling of poverty. Even if there was enough money around, there was always a feeling of not being able to create material stability, or anxiety about this. You feel as if you do not have the resources; and faith in your own body and its abilities is low. You may be anxious about your health. You will tend to be materialistic and look to money and possessions for stability and security; even having a safe family around you. But you need to look inwards and value your inner resources, developing these and using them well. Then you will develop inner stability and lose your anxiety; learning to value yourself and to use what you have well.

When your achievements become a product of your own self-love, rather than your love being dependent upon your achievements, as it may have been in childhood, there will no longer be any blame. The past will dissolve into forgiveness as you take up true responsibility for your own actions now; which is the ability to respond with love; rather than through conditioned reactions. As you find your own integrity, you will become less defensive and more able to sacrifice your Self to the willing service of society. Then your desire and your will will be one; personal desire and selfishness will become unnecessary, with the consequent ending of fear and isolation; a stability based on sound experience over time, slow growth and progress through adaptability to changes.